Today we're talking about four ways to help you increase your self-esteem.
Just a reminder that with self-esteem these are learned patterns of behavior and patterns of thinking that we've lived with for however many years we've been struggling with our self-esteem. So just remember that these things take time to change they take time they take practice because we're essentially trying to rewire our brain from what it's learned for so many months and so many years that has gotten us to a place where we're struggling with our self-esteem.
Self-esteem struggles can come from anywhere. They can start in childhood and they can start in adulthood, when we find ourselves in some challenging relationships that have resulted in us questioning ourselves and not really having the confidence that we need or that we once had.
The first way that we can help ourselves improve our self-esteem is to identify the negative thoughts we have about ourselves and challenge them. So for example if my automatic negative thought about myself is that i suck at my job some evidence against that thought is that I've been with the company for five years i got praise from my boss last week and i was in talk about having a promotion down the road.
So these are just examples of how we can challenge a negative thought that has to do with our job performance.
Another example is i have no friends or people don't like me at all, the way to challenge the thought that people don't like me is to remind ourselves that maybe last week i said a joke and someone told me they liked my sense of humor, or i got a call from one of my co-workers to join her for a friend's outing next week. So these are all some simple things that we can remind ourselves that there are evidence against a negative thought that we often rehearse in our minds. And once you think about the thought you identify it and you challenge it write down the negative statement.[ads id="ads1"]
Write down the statements that are evidence against that thought and leave it somewhere in like a journal or a notebook of some sort so that when you have the same struggle again you can have that journal or that page as a as a point of reference.
The second way to help you improve your self-esteem is to keep a self-esteem journal on a daily basis each day of the week. Think of three prompts that will help you improve your self-esteem and in a little bit i will put some prompts. For example think about on Monday i want to write about these three things i want to write about a positive experience i had with a person, or i want to write about a moment i felt proud about about myself, and three i'm going to write about something nice i did for somebody.
These are three prompts that will remind us of the good and positive things we have about ourselves. Now keep doing the same thing for each day of the week.
What's helpful is to write down the prompts each week at a time and go back every day of the week and just fill up fill out that form or fill out that page in your journal.
The third way to help you build your self-esteem is to surround yourself with positive relationships and avoid as much as possible toxic ones.
We may not always recognize just how much people's energy can affect us and can drain us. We might be some of the people that believe that they don't care what people think about them. but one negative interaction after another is bound to take its toll on you and that could very well be one of the reasons your self-esteem is struggling right now.
The fourth way to help you improve your self-esteem is to become an assertive communicator.
To become an assertive communicator it means we're not being passive communicators and we're not being aggressive ones. so assertive communication is that sweet spot where we can convey our needs very clearly without offending someone and without being aggressive towards anybody.
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